Long Time Since

Well, it has definitely been a long time since the last time I blogged on here. Probably because I have no idea how a blog is supposed to work. I guess it is just a place to write down your thoughts and share your opinions. It's a little scary doing that sometimes though. Knowing that other people could just get on and read this is kind of nerve wrecking actually. But I guess the writing is only as personal as you make it.


One thing that has always interested me is the way English teachers teach the books we read in class. I mean, they always try to get the students to find some depth in the stories, which is perfectly fine to a certain point. The authors that wrote those books had reasons for writing them the way the did, sure, but do English teachers go just a little too far sometimes? There are only so many things that the author could have wanted from their books. Too deep.


Anyways, back to something about me. Well, so much has happened since the last time. I mean what has it been, almost a year? Time goes by so fast.


Life is going by so fast for me right now. I just finished my junior year in high school which officially makes me a senior. My parents both are trying to get me to get a job. I told them that as soon as I have my permit I would greatly consider it, but that has yet to happen. I have a boyfriend, Stephen... Yes this is the same Stephen that I was talking about in the last post, and actually the last post was exactly 5 days before he asked me to be his official girlfriend. We have been "together" for going on 10 months now. That is a really long time. I love him with all my heart and soul. I really don't know what I would do without him. He is so special to me. I miss him a lot though. With the 3 hour time difference and how fricken busy he is (always) it is hard to find a lot of time for us to talk, not to mention the fact that he still has yet to send me a letter which was both my Christmas AND birthday request. I also wish he would call me more. I don't even feel like I can call him because I always feel like I will be a bother. There is just something about his voice... it makes me not want to stop talking to him, it's comforting and gentle but deep and strong, but given the fact that our conversations last about 5 minutes on average, I never get enough. We have been through some really rough times and also some really good ones, but I know he loves me, and for now, that is all that matters. I really bummed that I am not going to be able to see him this summer due to his very busy schedule. I was really looking forward to being able to touch him and feel that he is real. It is scary to think that I am going to have to go a whole nother year in order to see my own boyfriend. So much can happen in that amount of time. One other thing that I am scared of is that we are going to grow apart. There is nothing I can personally do to stop it because I am not there to change and grow with him. So much can happen in a year.

For example, I know in this blog I have not even brought up the Bryce subject. We were pretty much best friends and we hardly ever talk now... How does that happen in such a small amount of time? I also have another friend named Ross who is my bestest guy friend... he is so amazing... I have to admit that even though he says it won't happen, I am scared that I am going to lose him just like I lost Bryce. I have good reason to too. Bryce told me that we would always be there for me and that we would always be close, but we don't even have a friendship anymore. Ross means so much to me. Personally, I have no idea how he puts up with me. I'm crazy, depressing, annoying at times, etc... and for some reason he still loves me.  I miss him a lot sometimes. We hardly stop talking. Haha. We web cam all the time too. Or at least we used to until my stupid laptop stopped working. I miss talking to him a lot, and we never play Scrabble anymore cause I never get a turn on the computer due to my siblings constantly calling dibs. Ross is a special guy. He is sweet and hilarious (we share the same kind of humor and don't get offended when one of us tells the other a sexy joke of sorts like most people would). He is so much fun to talk to. Plus he isn't that bad looking :P He Is crazy though! Always telling jokes about Taco Bell. Hahahaha. Fiesta Sauce, really Ross? I couldn't lose him. He never ceases to stop trying to make me happy when I'm depressed, which is often lately. I'm really scared of losing him though.

So Friday I am going to Alli's house to have a Twilight marathon before either of us goes to see Eclipse, which is now out in theatres :D :D :D...

Till next time, "Oiier on the Porcelain" ;)
Love, Sarah

P.S. Text me :P